The sun is like my kryptonite. I think I might be the anti-Superman. Okay, maybe it’s not that bad, but I swear between the hours of 9 am and 8 pm I cannot seem to write a word, and when I do, it feels forced. It’s like having the ability to chew nothing but concrete in your mouth. Sure, I can shove words on the page, but it’s not comfortable and I feel like I’m getting nowhere with it.
Does concrete even have any dietary value? At least some minerals to offer? I suppose Google could probably tell me, but I think I’m going to leave that information off of my ‘useless facts’ log. On the subject of diet and health, though, our pregnancy is coming along swimmingly. A few months ago, I tasked Angie with one important goal when we found out we were having a baby: give our baby two arms and two legs. That’s it. Now, this proud father-to-be is happy to announce that Ang has successfully completed and exceeded her quest! Our baby has two feet, two hands, two eyes, and ten–that’s right, ten little toes! A lot of other things are important too, but I figured that was a less overwhelming goal to start, and hopefully, the rest of the good stuff will come naturally. Like writing a blog post. Maybe something will come out if you can just get started, right?
The last few weeks have been packed full of life stuff, as usual. I performed with the community playhouse in which I sported an awful handlebar mustache that a dear friend of mine wanted me to keep. No worries, that statement is past-tense for a reason. While I admit that I can pull off a mean 70’s pornstache look, I do not want to be the one to try to bring that back. I may be a writer of the night, but no amount of unlimited cosmic power will make this necromancer want to resurrect the handlebar mustache. If you are reading this behind the majesty of such a ‘stache, I commend you; you rock, but I humbly decline to join your ranks and movement. It’s not for me.
With my current position as a daytime manager of a cafe, I really miss bartending. I occasionally provide support to the bar next door and it is really satisfying and rewarding to me every time. Nothing beats the social environment of a bar while mixing drinks and making jokes. I also love the ‘ah-ha’ moment guests get when talking about the history of all things beverage. During the show, our cast threw a few house parties that Angie and I also had the pleasure of bartending. For the cast, we batched a few classics and craft cocktails. I’m sure many bartenders can relate to the endless requests from friends to serve cocktails at gatherings, and without a doubt, we accept these requests carefully. We also batch to make sure we aren’t working the fun away.
Keeping the pregnancy in mind, Angie and I have been trying very hard to acquire what we need to pull off the variety of non-alcoholic cocktails and their alcoholic counterparts, but it is a difficult ball-game in Iowa. We did, however, luck out on a home run for a cocktail themed off of a favorite baseball snack, and finally got back to mixing some magic from the Big, Beautiful Book. Enter: Prize Inside.
One common theme I am noticing with these non-alcoholic cocktails is a lot more prep. I am both excited and nervous about this, as finding time and motivation to make everything is a challenge, but learning these skills and techniques was the whole point of our decision to tackle this project. So it’s a thrill. An exhausting thrill.
The first item on our list was a Cracker Jack tincture. To make it, we put Cracker Jacks and 190 proof Everclear in a silicone bag and sous vide it for an hour. This was the easiest part of the cocktail. Strain and reserve. It’s basically the simplest form of bitters. Very high ABV alcohol used to extract a specific flavor or aroma.
After making our tincture, we moved on to the popcorn stock. The idea of making a stock from popcorn was so strange to me, but now that I’ve tried it, my mind is open to many other ideas of stocks that I could use to influence flavors. The concept was simple. We popped some popcorn on the stove, added water, and brought it to a simmer. Then we strained the big pieces off, poured our remaining liquid with some tiny chunks in the blender and blended it. Finally, we strained it through a chinois/fine mesh sieve and reserved it in the fridge. This really does taste like liquid, unbuttered popcorn.
Next up was buttered rum. Bacardi Oakheart mixed with George Dickel No. 12 Tennessee Whiskey, Flavacol, and unsalted butter. We put it all together in a silicone bag and sous vide for 2 hours. After that, we cooled it, strained it, and reserved it in a glass container.
Side note: Have you ever discovered that you have been doing something wrong your entire life without realizing it? In the midst of preparing for this cocktail, we were invited out to the movies by my sister and Angie was craving cotton candy. Ever since I was an impatient little kid, when I had cotton candy, I would crush it between my tongue and the roof of my mouth. I never cared that much for cotton candy. It was okay at best. Angie, sharing her cotton candy with me, noticed me squishing and chewing it in my mouth. A bit disconcerted, she insisted I should just let it melt on my tongue. In this moment, everything changed. The way the sugar crystals melt followed by pockets of air is almost reminiscent of pop rocks. It was crisp, yet soft. It was airy, yet creamy. What amazes me about these sensations is how differently one can experience something by just the most subtle change in technique. This is the joy of cooking and cocktailing. Challenging your ingredients to do something different by just the slightest change in your approach to them.
Speaking of game changers, the peanut orgeat from this recipe is to die for. I’ve fallen in love with it and I really want to continue playing with it in a variety of drinks this winter season. It’s also pretty easy to make as long as you’re patient. We toasted blanched peanuts, added that to a syrup concoction over the stove, used a cheap $20 immersion blender (only the best will do) to coarsely grind the peanuts. Then we cooled the mixture, let it steep overnight, strained, and reserved. Seriously, this peanut orgeat is sweet liquid peanut butter. Perfect texture, nutty flavor. Of coarse it’s delicious! Extra pro tip, save the nuts once you’ve strained the orgeat. We’ve been snacking on them, and our baker friend is going to use some to make a cheesecake crust.
I’ve also gained a new love-hate relationship that is the result of a combination of my personal inexperience and way too many suggested methods and contradictory information on the internet. This love-hate relationship is with none other than caramel. Caramel is one of those things that everyone seems to have an opinion about, but every opinion contradicts the next and for some odd reason none of them work. At least, that’s how it feels as a complete caramel novice. When I made the caramel according to the recipe in our Big, Beautiful Book, I ended up with a delicious hockey puck of sugar. The flavor was great, but the firmness was at maximum. I ended up adding about twice as much cream and throwing it in the microwave to turn it into a caramel sauce that would dissolve into our cocktail. I enjoyed making the rootbeer caramel with sassafras as well as this caramel, but I feel like I have more questions than I had when I started this venture, even though I’ve now made caramel three times instead of never.
With my yummy, definitely-not-the-right-recipe-but-still-ended-up-a-sauce caramel complete, we were ready for the main course. This cocktail is strange to deliver because of all the extra ingredients that go into the batch, but fantastic for exactly that–batching. The cocktail is popcorn stock, buttered rum, peanut orgeat, caramel sauce, soy lecithin, Flavacol, xanthan gum, and sugar. The mocktail version is popcorn stock, peanut orgeat, caramel sauce, soy lecithin, Flavacol, xanthan gum, sugar, and salt. It’s a hefty combination of ingredients that stretches the imagination, heated together in a sous vide, then blended and served with a spritz of Cracker Jack tincture.
The result is a beautiful bouquet of salted caramel popcorn in harmony with rich, creamy buttered rum. This is a cocktail to remember and a fun one to batch by the gallon for a holiday party. It’s savory, sweet, and boldly flavorful. It’s the liquid embodiment of a Cracker Jack. The non-alcoholic version is shockingly similar to the alcoholic version but without the buzz. We are very pleased with this masterpiece.
Oh, and of course, we had to get a set of “his” and “hers” glasses to mark the occasion of our first non-alcoholic set. And you can’t forget the prize inside — a real ACP tattoo!
